Relationships require a lot of work, and by no means is any relationship perfect, even if it appears that way on the surface. Healthy couples experience the occasional arguments, and go through rough patches, however constantly facing these issues might be a sign the relationship is coming to an end.
It's normal for all relationships, especially long-term, to go through highs and lows. Relationships are like a plant, they require time, love and attention to ensure optimal growth. If you don’t equally dedicate yourself to the attention it needs, you may end up killing the plant. Sometimes this mutual effort can mend a rocky relationship, and sometimes no solution is enough to repair the damage. So at what point do you stop and say this isn’t working out? Here’s what the experts have to say..
5 signs your relationship is over
1. There’s no connection and you can’t agree on anything
The spark you once had is now dying and you question if this relationship is even worth saving? A few vital signs to look out for in this stage include lack of vulnerability around your partner - if you no longer feel comfortable being vulnerable around them, and don’t communicate the way you used to that's a huge red flag. In addition to lack of emotional connection, another sure sign is that you can’t see eye-to-eye on anything, and those disagreements end up leading to arguments. Constant conflict causes both people to feel misunderstood which destroys any positive connection. Healthy relationships should be a safe space where you feel understood and you can be yourself completely, not feeling that way is a sign you might no longer want a deep connection, therefore it’s time to consider cutting the cord.
2. Intimacy is no longer appealing
Facing a long dry spell with your partner doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over, it’s normal for sexual desire to hit high and low points throughout a relationship, as each person is growing and may encounters factors that impact sex drive, however it could point to a problem if you are no longer sexually interested in that person. A lack of sexual interest is often a reflection of the health and potential longevity of relationships. So if the thought of your partner turns you off, it's probably a sign your relationship needs work, or it isn't working anymore.
3. Communication is aggressive or confrontational
Once you lose that emotional connection it can be hard to agree on most things, which therefore leads to arguments and feeling misunderstood or hurt. These factors are what cause aggressive or confrontational behaviours and responses. Constant negative communication in a relationship is hard to come back from, once those boundaries are broken, and mutual respect for eachother is thrown out the window, it's likely time to consider if you're willing to stay in unhealthy space.
4. Your goals don’t align
Unfortunately, this can be one of the hardest things to accept in a relationship. When two people want different things, it doesn’t matter how much love you have for eachother. You can grow together, or grow apart, whether it be big or small, like starting a family, or wanting to travel the world, you have to be aligned in a relationship if you want it to be successful. Oftentimes one person in the relationship will outgrow their environment and change their path, while the other person in stuck in their old ways, but if you aren’t growing together it simply won’t have any longevity, nor will either of you feel happy together. If this is the case, take time to discuss your goals and values then decide if this relationship is right for the both of you.
5. Other people seem more appealing
Although it’s totally normal to have sexual fantasies or attraction towards other people, constant thoughts like this in a exclusive relationship could be a huge sign your needs aren’t being met. These desires can be harmful in relationships as it decrease the importance of sex with you actual partner. If you can’t shake these thoughts, it’s probably time to make a choice of what and who you truly want.
“You don’t walk out of a breakup empty-handed. Every breakup teaches a lesson. Find yours.”
People change, some grow together, while others grow apart, and guess what? That’s totally okay. However, not every challenge you face in a relationships is an excuse to cut the cord. It’s important to identify the difference between your relationships issues that can be worked on and changed, vs the issues that cannot or won’t be changed. Every relationship has it’s ups and downs, and it’s good to be aware of your feelings so you can recognize if what you're going through is a temporary or permanent.