How to avoid roommate syndrome

Moving in with your partner is an exciting milestone to enter together, but it comes with one common challenge.. That is, slipping into a "roommate" dynamic making it difficult to maintain that once romantic spark.

What is roomate syndrome? It is when lovers slowly begin to feel like two people living parallel lives who coexist well and manage tasks without high levels of conflict. But if you no longer feel a strong emotional bond or intimate physical chemistry, you might want to consider finding ways to re-prioritize each other, as relation expert Laura Silverstein defines it.

If you’re facing this, or want to to avoid this situation from ever happening, here’s how you can keep the spark alive:

Prioritize quality time: Make an effort to spend quality time together. Set aside designated date nights or have a cozy evening at home with no distractions, just the two of you.

Date each other continuously: Don't let the excitement of dating fizzle out. Plan regular date nights or surprise each other with spontaneous outings. Rediscover getting to know your partner all over again, trying new experiences together, and creating new memories.

Keep physical intimacy alive: Physical intimacy is more than just sex; it's about affection, touch, and closeness. Regularly show physical affection like hugging, kissing, or holding hands. Explore each other's wildest desires, and keep the spark alive by keeping the passion regular in the bedroom.

Plan adventures: Create excitement in your relationship by trying new things together. Travel to new destinations, take up a new hobby together, or challenge each other to step outside your comfort zones to strengthen your bond.

Always show appreciation: Never underestimate the power of showing appreciation and gratitude. Express thanks for the little things your partner does, and remind them how much they mean to you. Small gestures of love and appreciation can go a long way in keeping that flame strong.

Communicate openly and often: Effective communication is key to any successful relationship. Be vulnerable, talk about your feelings, desires, and concerns openly to ensure you both stay emotionally connected.

Share responsibilities: Avoid falling into stereotypical gender roles by sharing household responsibilities, like cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping, to create a sense of teamwork and fairness in your home.

Surprise each other: Keep the element of surprise alive. Leave little love notes, plan unexpected outings, or surprise your partner with their favourite treat for example. Whatever it may be, big or small, the surprises will help to keep your relationship exciting. 

Respect personal space: While spending time together is important, respecting each other's personal space and boundaries is equally as important. Allow each other to have alone time when needed, or take specific "me" days to ensure your self-care needs are also being met.

Laugh together: Laughter is the glue that keeps relationships strong. Find humour in everyday situations, share jokes, and embrace lighthearted moments, and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself too!

The takeaway

Remember, maintaining a romantic relationship after moving in together requires effort from both partners. By continuing to nurture your love, respect, and communication between each other, you can avoid the roommate trap and build a lasting, passionate connection that grows stronger with time. <3

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